Oneshot: Child. Minder.

Title: Child. Minder.
Author: Bo
Pairing(s): Matsumiya, about two lines of Sakuraiba
Rating: PG-13ish
Genre: Senseless fluff
Word count: 1,762
Disclaimer(s): I don't own Arashi. I don't own the PS2. I only own the rubber duckie.
Warning(s): Unbeta'd
Summary: Matsujun is Matsujun. Jun is the only one who doesn't think that's good enough. Nino helpes him by giving him a bath.
Notes: This is just an excuse to put Jun in a bathtub with rose petals and a rubber duck, really. This is also my first attempt at RPF, first Arashi fic...heck, first tangible piece of writing I did in the last six months. I apologize for the lack of plot and the OOCness. I tried very hard, and I hope you can enjoy at least a little bit. Comments will be gleefully screamed over. Happy birthday, Jun!

Jun hated children.

Okay, so maybe hated was a bit too strong; he just disliked them, like a person might wrinkle his nose at a carton of milk that he found to be two days past its expiration date. On a morning when he very much wanted milk.

It wasn't that children always had an uncanny way of shooting out whatever happened to be on their devious little minds. It wasn't that children seemed to enjoy watching his brain slowly shrivel inside his skull while they squeal with laughter like it was the funniest thing in the world that he'd just been told they would eat nothing but the most expensive Kobe beef for dinner. Jun had been through too many episodes of Mago Mago to let trivial matters like that get to him; he was a professional and he would deal with these things like one, even if it involved watching a five-year-old gnaw on a piece of meat that was probably worth a month's rent of his apartment.

No. It wasn't that children are evil and spoiled and terribly clever that he disliked them. It was that they never seemed to like him, and it bothered him tremendously because he didn't know why. Kids never took to Jun as much as the other members of Arashi. Children were drawn to Ohno because Ohno treated kids like he treated people of all ages -- that is to say, calmly -- and no one could resist that lopsided grin. Sho was the classic Older Brother, always knowing just what to say and how to make (the little devils) them laugh and when to pat their (little devil) heads. Nino never stopped being a kid at heart, and (devils) kindred souls attract. And Aiba -- Aiba dealt with a plethora of animals on a regular basis and, apparently, a roomful of children wasn't too different. The technique was the same, according to him ("Just pet them a lot.").

When it came to Jun, however, children avoided him like a dentist appointment. He could fawn over them and follow them everywhere, try to be the Silent But Reassuring, Drop-Dead Sexy Big Brother, but nothing ever seemed to win their affections. He did try -- he had to give himself credit for that. Even Ohno commended his patience.

"It's hard," Riida had said, running a long finger down the spiral binding of his sketchbook, "but it’s easier if you can think of things their way. We were once their age, too, and you remember what it was like. The world is a big bathtub, and the toys you bring take you wherever you want to be."

Jun couldn't remember if he did anything of the sort when he was young; for him baths were always a time to relax and just get really clean, and he told Ohno so.

"Aw, c'mon, Jun," Aiba said from his place in front of the TV, where he was having a PS2 race against Nino. "Don't tell me you don't remember what it's like being a kid."

"That's easy for you to say," Jun snapped, "you are one."

Aiba's attention was already diverted, however, for his car had just slammed into the curb and his control pad vibrated violently. Nino laughed maniacally as he sped past Aiba, his half of the screen a blur as he raced through downtown Detroit.

Jun rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest with a huff. "I don't see what's so good about being a kid. Adults have so much more freedom."

Ohno shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips. "I don't know, either. Maybe it's because you're only allowed to bring toys into the bath if you're a kid."

"Depends on what kind of toys," Sho drawled from behind his newspaper. In front of the TV, Aiba's control pad almost jumped out of his hands as his car hit a moving truck.


The bathtub was filled to the brim with hot, steaming water, and the rose petals that drifted lazily on the water's surface were striking bursts of scarlet. Thick, round candles threw golden halos over the small ripples. Faint traces of rosemary and eucalyptus scented the air. And in the middle of it all, surrounded by the rose petals and the candles, was Nino, clad only in a pair of faded jeans rolled up to his calves, sitting on the rim of the bathtub with his feet under the water. In his hand he held a yellow rubber duck.

Jun took in the sight all at once, and had trouble keeping his mouth closed. "Wha - ?"

"Take off your clothes," Nino ordered.

"W - why?"

Nino gave him The Look, the one specially reserved for people who were currently too stupid for his liking. "Because it's a bath, and you take off your clothes before you get into a bath. Or if you want to keep them on, that's fine with me, just hurry up and get your ass in here before the water gets cold."

Jun was already lifting his shirt over his head (because you never messed with The Look). The shirt was folded and placed in a corner where it wouldn't get wet, and followed soon by his jeans and socks. He hesitated for a moment, caught The Look again, then quickly stepped out of his briefs and flung it into the laundry basket. Then he accepted the hand Nino held out and slowly lowered himself into the water.

The warmth enveloped him like a bear hug, and he was sinking down to the shoulder before he knew it, letting his back rest between Nino's legs, using his knees as armrests.

Nino thrust the yellow rubber duck in front of Jun’s face. “Hold this.”

“OK,” Jun agreed, taking it. He’d agree to anything at that moment.

Nino's fingers slid through Jun's hair, and Jun lay back obediently, his eyes fluttering shut as a long sigh emptied his lungs and his mind.

The younger man took a moment to immerse in the warm, heavenly bliss that surrounded him. The water caressed his entire body and turned his muscles into useless mush. It seemed to flow into his mind as well, along with the soft smell of rosemary and eucalyptus, until he could no longer think about anything, and it was surprisingly pleasant, he never realized just how much stuff he had been thinking about lately, and he never noticed how tense his shoulders were, and oh he couldn't remember the last time he felt so relaxed, so peaceful…when was the last time he had a bath?

"Too long ago." Nino's voice brought Jun’s dissipating consciousness back again. The younger man’s face flushed as he realized he had uttered the last thought out loud.

"Nino," he called, as the older man's hands rested on his shoulders. "What’re you doing?"

“Give you a bath,” Nino said, starting to rub Jun's shoulder blades.


"Because you don’t remember what it’s like taking one. Especially taking one with a rubber duck. It’s what makes the whole thing special.”

Jun glanced at the lump of bright yellow plastic in his hand and decided it had no special effect on baths whatsoever. Even if it was pretty cute.

“Squeeze it; it quacks,” Nino said helpfully. Jun was almost going to comply when he caught himself and realized that it would be something very stupid and un-MatsuJun-like.

“So you were listening today,” he said, plunging the duck under water to get it out of sight.

“You mean when you were whining about how your raw sexual magnetism doesn't work on 4-year-olds? Yeah."

Jun sputtered indignantly. "I never --"

"Then why was it bothering you so much?" Nino leaned over Jun's shoulder to look at him. Jun avoided the other man's gaze before he could catch himself.

Nino's soft laugh tickled his ear. "You think too much, Jun."

Jun snorted, in a way he would never have done in public. “How so? How does me being socially challenged with children lead into me thinking too much?”

“It’s not just that,” said Nino. “There are a lot of other things that make you think too much. Like that ego you insist on maintaining. Like how when it comes to work you’re right up there with Sho. Sometimes you’re even more serious than he is.”

Nino’s hands had moved back into position again; his fingers were kneading the most wonderful spots on Jun's back and it made Jun less eager to argue. His muscles dissolving, Jun leaned back and allowed himself to fully succumb to the massage.

"You have to be perfect," Nino continued. "You must find a way for everyone to like you or else you'd lose your purpose in life and wither away. You need to relax once in a while. And you know what? Everyone loves you already, even though you can't pass a mirror without preening and you won't rest until you know a dance so well you can do it with earphones and a blindfold and whenever something's wrong with someone in the group you won't stop until you've found the exact reason and fixed it. Hell, we love you because you're all those things." He pressed a kiss to Jun's temple. "I love you because you're all those things. So quit worrying and trying to be perfect all the time."

Jun was silent for a long moment. Then he burst out laughing.

"Are you telling me I’m a drama queen?" he asked, grinning.

"The best," Nino answered, raising Jun's hand and pressing a kiss to the palm.

Jun thought for another moment. "If I promise to bathe more often, can I still hate children?"

“Please do. And stop stalking them with that Reassuring Big Brother act. Just be the Sexy Big Brother Who Cooks. I wonder, though," he added suddenly, "what'll happen when we have our own kids?"

"We can hire a nanny. Aiba can do it. It'll give him something to do in old age other than putting himself in mortal danger during one of his experiments." Jun tilted his head back and nibbled on Nino's chin. "I want girls. Twins are nice."

"We'll name them Starshine and Moonbeam."

"Or Starbeam and Moonshine. We can let Riida decide." They snickered into each other's mouths, and the laughs were soon swallowed in a deep kiss.

At the other end of the tub, the yellow rubber duck had popped back onto the surface and was floating contentedly among the scarlet rose petals and the reflected candlelight.
i-it's so so sooooo cute!
adorably written!
and so true!! (perfectionist)

and it's nino/jun my very favourite!!

thank you so much!
I'm glad that you enjoyed it! =D It's my first time writing about Jun and Nino, I was so scared that I might get them wrong. Thank you so much for reading and for commenting!
XD, I always crack up at Jun's fail with kids. This was really cute! Giggling in the best way right now, that's some of the most adorable Jun/Nino I've ever read! <3
A reason this fic came out was because I couldn't get Jun's absolute helplessness in Mago Mago Arashi out of my mind XD Thank you for reading and for the lovely comments. I'm glad that you enjoyed it!
I... I am kinda in love. Wuth every little bit! Twins. Aiba!Nanny. Starshine and Moonbeam. Nino all mushy and bossy all at once. Jun purely confused about children's dislike for him.

“So you were listening today,” he said, plunging the duck under water to get it out of sight.

“You mean when you were whining about how your raw sexual magnetism doesn't work on 4-year-olds? Yeah."

That exchange is just SO perfectly Nino and Jun. I adore it.

Really, REALLY fabulous job!
I'm so happy that you liked it! =D Thank you so much for the comment; it so made my day, you really have no idea. And I'm really flattered that you want to read more of my stuff. This is actually my first try at RPF and Arashi fanfic, so this is the start of my writing stuff. I will definitely write more, though, because the boys are too awesome to leave them alone for too long. =)
Thank you! =D Glad you liked. You can't go wrong with fluffy Matsujun, I think.'s been a while since i read a matsumiya fic and this made up for it!!!

adorable ! thanx
I'm glad you liked my take on Matsumiya XD It was easier than I thought it would be. I guess it's because they're both huge, lovable dorks. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
This was sooo cute.
And very well written. I absolutely love those 2 sentences about sakuraiba, those totally cracked me up. |D°
Ok, this is going to my memories RIGHT NOW.

Really cute,and riida's advice was totally awesome!!!
Glad you liked! It makes me happy when someone enjoys my stuff. =) Ohno is awesome. For some reason I find it really easy to get into his head. We share that same spacing out trait. XD Thank you for commenting!
This was amazing! What a great grasp of Jun you have, and the fact that it's him feeling insecure about little kids makes it so adorable! For some reason, I really enjoyed your mentions of Aiba crashing all over the place when he's playing video games, because it seems so entirely Aiba?

“You mean when you were whining about how your raw sexual magnetism doesn't work on 4-year-olds? Yeah."
A-awesome line.

This was a great read! Thanks for writing it. :)
Thank you! I share similar personality traits with Jun, so it's pretty easy for me to get into his head, but I was still anxious about having him just right. seems that whenever he shows up in my writing, he manages to crash into something. XD Thank you so much for reading! It really made my day!
Oh my... too cute... I want a Drop-Dead Sexy Big Brother for myself!!!
Matsumiya is usually very passionate, but this tenderness is really sweet.

I want a Drop-Dead Sexy Gorgeous Little Brother so I can bully him and make him run my errands. XD Thank you!
Really really sweet Nino/Jun...
My second favorite OTP...
Thanks for sharing^^